It makes sense, in the big picture of my life. My world fell apart when I was in my Junior year of college, and as I had in childhood, I turned to books once more for solace and peace. My depression was at its worst. Everything that had been solid my life had turned upside down. Virtually nothing safe, or stable. Yet, I still had books. I turned away from the stressful and daunting major of education and instead listed my major in Literature. In turn, I finally had some sense of well-being. I was at peace with one single aspect of my life at the time.
In the ensuing months, I often missed class. Many days came and went where I did nothing more than drag myself from bed to the fridge and back to bed again, considering it an accomplishment that I had eaten something. Yet, on those days when I was able to shower, dress, and eventually emerge from my apartment to attend class, it was only because I loved the literature I was studying, and the incredibly knowledgeable professors who were teaching me. I can think of nothing else which might have persuaded me to get out of bed those days, and sometimes even the promising power of Austin's prose or Frost's poetry was not enough. Without those wordsmiths, though, I would have drifted irretrievably away from everything that mattered in this world. Literature was my link to sanity. Books brought me through.
Books offer us so many comforts. We can escape our lives completely, or we can pause to appreciate often overlooked gifts. We live the life of a queen or pound the pavement with ladies of the night. We cry another's tears, or find compassion for our own. We see a new view of the events that shape our world, or we encounter new worlds. Nothing is impossible in books. The heroine can come back to life. The villain gets his. Good comes to those who wait. A new day dawns fresh when darkness once prevailed. When I couldn't see possibility in my own life, I could see it in the books I read.
Upon reflection, though, there is irony in this which makes me laugh now. At the very darkest point during this time of my life, I sat up into the wee hours reading Tess of the D'Urbervilles. Anyone who has read much Thomas Hardy knows that possibility and hope are not common themes to be found among the pages of his beautifully written novels. Perhaps, then, it was his refreshing honesty that I found reassuring. I knew I could count on him to depict the realities of the world. Sometimes life isn't roses and happiness. I couldn't bear to watch comedies at the time. They were seemingly meaningless and I felt hostility towards them. How could people be so peppy, so light-hearted? I could relate to the pessimism in Hardy, not so much because I was darkly pessimistic myself, but because it was truer than comedic banter. It painted a more realistic picture of life. It made sense.
Although I am in a much better place in my life now, I am deeply grateful for the lessons of those darker times.
I still lean towards reading more serious literature. Most of the books on my shelves are memoirs and nonfiction, biographies and self-help. My books still serve the same purpose that they have all along. They give me a glimpse of all ranges of human emotion. They tie the world together, and show me where my place is within it. They give me escape, and they make me feel at home.
I found the following reading survey today at Write.Click.Scrapbook. I leave you with my answers to it's literary questions.
How do you feel about reading?
Reading is as essential as breathing.
What’s your favorite genre?
Memoir & classics.
Least favorite?
Science fiction
Where do you like to read?
Pretty much anywhere I can breathe.
What’s the strangest place you’ve read a book in?
Thinking....hmmm...I'm not usually in strange places.
What book are you reading right now?
Just finished The Crowning Glory of Cala Lilly Ponder by Rebecca Wells and just starting A Monk Swimming by Malachey McCourt
Who’s your favorite author?
There are too many to count, but a few favorites are Austen, Dickens, Alcott and Bronte.
What’s your favorite reading snack?
Annie's Cheddar Bunnies
How does reading fit into your day?
It fits into every nook and cranny. I read all day. Blogs, books, news, etc.
Does reading in the car make you carsick?
Not usually.
Do you usually read more than one book at once?
Very rarely.
What’s your first memory about reading?
My mother making a cover out of a cereal box for my copy of On the Banks of Plum Creek.
What book character are you most like?
Laura Ingalls Wilder or Josephine March
Which is best, paperback or hardback?
Paperback for two reasons: 1) it's cheaper so I can buy more books and 2) easier to read.
What makes you love a book?
Pretty much I love it just because it is a book. The smell, the shape, the freshly crackling spine when I open it for the first time. What's not to love?
How do you keep your place in your book?
I'm forever losing bookmarks or leaving them laying around. Usually a piece of paper ripped from the corner of a notebook page.
Do you like series or stand-alone books?
As a kid I liked series, but as an adult I like having a sense of finality to things, so I generally lean towards stand-alones. Here are a few series I love.
- Harry Potter
- The Little House Series
- Anne of Green Gables
- Not really a series, but the Frank McCourt trilogy. (Angela's Ashes, Tis, and Teacher Man)
Good gracious, no!
Do you like reading poetry? Why or why not?
Yes, but for some reason I seldom do.
What is your favorite book?
Too many to count, but my favorite books to read this time of year are Frankenstein and Wuthering Heights. I read them every October, without fail.
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