Anxiety and Fears...

In addition to the many other wonderful and not so wonderful aspects of my life, I have social anxiety and generalized anxiety disorders.  In a nutshell, I am fully of anxiety over anything and everything.  Yes, there are medications that help, but the biggest challenge of anxieties is that the best way to "fix" them, or to help myself, is to confront them and do they very thing I don't want to do.  It's really better said by Eleanor Roosevelt:

"You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing which you think you cannot do."


In addition to worrying about real-life concerns, i.e. how to pay the mortgage, how to buy groceries, save for the family reunion and meet out-of-pocket expenses for doctors, I tend to worry about a million what ifs.  And generally, what ifs are a huge time and energy waster.  Because 99.9% of what ifs never materialize.  So I worry for the sake of worrying.  What if the plane misses the runway at the nearby airport and instead hits our neighborhood?  What if I never get the bill because it got lost in the mail and I don't know it is due and it gets sent to collections because they think I ignored it?  What if Kyle gets hit by a truck on the way to work tomorrow?  What if Pip gets stolen?  What if Kyle lost his job?  What if.....What if.... What if... It can seriously lead one to a state of panic.  Why do we do this to ourselves? 

Everyone worries, and all of us catastrophize at times.  But some of us make it a full time job.  We act as if the world is going to fall apart unless we stay vigilant and prepare for every single possible event that we might ever face.  And that gets to be exhausting!


Sometimes I think people like myself worry because that way we don't have to think about "real" worries.  I get so caught up in what-ifs that I lose sight of the issues that are really bothering me.  Then the trouble is compounded because not only am I not dealing with the root of the problem, but I'm adding imagined catastrophes to the pile.  As Dr. Phil would ask, "How's that working for ya?"  


It's not.


I decided today to list my real fears.  Not the "wouldn't happen in a million years" fears, but the ones that show up in real life and smack me in the face.  The list is pretty short. 


1.  Spiders
2.  Clowns
3.  Anything happening to Kyle.
4.  Anything happening to Pip.


Essentially, the only real worry I have is spiders.  I never see clowns wandering around the neighborhood, (unless it is Halloween and in that case I sit on the bed with the quilt over my head, reading a book by flashlight).  Kyle sees his doctors several times a year and his health is maintained to the best ability of all involved.  Pip has his shots, has been on antibiotics and is clearly on the path to recovery.  Spiders have overrun my house despite my attempts to spray them dead.  I have declared war on them, and my next move is to call in my dad who mixes lovely batches of chemicals for Weed and Pest of Platte County.  Perhaps he can mix a potion together that might eradicate the spiders from my house.  


And get off my back, PETA.  I am all for letting creatures live.  Except spiders.  (And maybe pigs and chickens).  


When it comes down to it, obviously I have nothing to worry about.  But how to stop???  I am addicted to worry.  


What senseless things do you worry about?  Leave a comment with your silliest worry.