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| Maybe you can see why it's hard not to fall in love... |
- how proud I am of him
- how much I love him
- how loved back I feel by him
Kyle and I have been married almost seven years and have known each other almost eight. I've never known Kyle to say a mean word to anyone, and he's always the first one to volunteer to help someone or assist with a project. He's always the one who gets asked to help with those kinds of big projects, too, probably because he's the kind of guy who people know they can depend on to help them. This applies to coworkers, family members, people broke down along the highway, or just about any person on the planet. Almost no one is excluded. Kyle helps just about anyone he can.
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| My all-time favorite pic of Kyle and Pip |
Kyle has definitely lived up to his vow to love me through sickness and health and he has taken care of me through sickness, too. And not only has he done those things, but he hasn't held it against me or resented me for it, either. When Kyle and I first began dating I was honest with him about my previous mental health hospitalizations, my history with mental illness and what I was currently experiencing with it. I didn't want him to have any surprises there, and he took it all in stride. I expected it to scare him away, but nothing seemed to scare Kyle away, and he persisted in appearing interested in dating me. Before long I was just as smitten with this new guy as he seemed to be with me. We lived hours apart, so we were emailing and calling all the time getting to know each other.
One of the benefits of Kyle and me having a long distance relationship through the majority of our courtship is that we had some really long conversations and got to know each other, I felt, really well. My first phone bill gave me a near heart attack, but we made some changes to the phone plan after that and billing improved. I have never liked talking on the phone, but for Kyle, I made exceptions, and we talked sometimes four hours a night. Looking back on what was my senior year of undergraduate school, I don't know how I got any studying done, because I was always on the phone with Kyle. But on the plus side, I got to know his mind and heart so well, and that has served me so well as his wife.
I adore his sense of humor. It's quiet, sweet, fun. Like this picture below. This isn't something he would actually ever really buy, which is why I found it so funny for him to be holding it.
Monday of this week Kyle interviewed for a new job as a Real Estate Transaction Specialist with the Wyoming Office of State Lands and Investments. He was later offered the position and after some soul searching and a family meeting he decided to accept it He's excited for a new challenge, a chance to have some supervisory experience, and it means he will be home more with me and on the road traveling less. What a compliment to hear your spouse say he'd rather be home with you than out on the road! I am so excited for him to begin this new chapter, to have less stress and to be home more. I'm so proud of him for the 13 years of very hard work he's put in at the Wyoming Department of Transportation.
But it's so much more than that. At the end of January I was hospitalized for depression for two weeks. Kyle continued to work full time and do some travel for that job. But he also visited me at the hospital and called me frequently to check on me when he couldn't visit. Then I made the life altering decision to do electroconvulsive therapy (ECT) treatments, and Kyle fully supported that decision. This meant that Kyle would have to make some serious adjustments to his work schedule. He didn't bat an eye, filled out FMLA (family medical leave act) paperwork, and regularly showed up for my medical appointments while I was still inpatient. Mind you, I was hospitalized two hours from our home, so this wasn't the easiest for him to do. Although I was still inpatient for my first ECT treatment, I was scared out of my wits, so Kyle arranged to come to the hospital for it (even though he couldn't be with me for the actual treatment). I was away from him for about two hours from start to finish for the ECT. So even though Kyle came to support me, I was away from him and it's a lot of sitting around and waiting on his part. Then, when I came out, I was still groggy from anesthesia, so I often slept a lot when we were back together. But he came back to my hospital room and sat beside my bed for hours and just held my hand until he had to go.
Upon my release from the hospital, Kyle had to promise my doctors that he wouldn't leave me alone at all and that he would drive me anywhere I needed to go. So Kyle had to take sick leave from work to basically take care of me as if I were a child. This lasted two to three weeks. He filled my prescriptions, measured them into my med organizer and wrote down any side effects I was having or questions we had for the next appointment. He coordinated everything with Dr. Fisher, my ECT specialist, and wrote down my instructions. Kyle was basically an extension of myself for myself. He joked with me and kept it light when it could have gotten dark. He has to put up with me asking the same questions repeatedly. And he's super patient.
A dear family friend told me he couldn't tell me how proud he was of Kyle, that "Kyle is the ultimate help-mate". He captured it so so perfectly. When I left teaching and then work altogether to focus on getting better, Kyle supported me and gave me opportunity to do what I needed to do to get better and be a healthier person. He didn't berate me or make me feel like a lesser person for the money I wouldn't be earning.
Kyle's new job opportunity at State Lands has financial repercussions for us. Leaving his current position and taking this new one meant a substantial pay cut. Sure, that stinks. But there are so many other more important aspects of our life that warrant consideration as well, and I'm very glad that I am married to someone who considers all of them, and not just the $ signs on the paycheck at the end of the month. I think this job will make Kyle happier, and a happier man will be healthier. A healthier man will live longer, meaning my husband will live longer.
Kyle has fully supported me, in everything I have needed, wanted or tried to do since we meet. And yet, he doesn't treat me as anything less than a complete and equal partner in our marriage. What could have reduced me in his eyes; what could have somehow made me seem far less than his equal has somehow brought us so close together. Each day I see the strength in our love and am so grateful for this man who brings me such immense joy and happiness.
Most little girls dream of their wedding days. They fantasize about Mr. Right, Prince Charming and Happily Ever After. I never did, because I truly never saw myself married when I was growing up, but it's just as well, because nothing would have measured up to this.
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