Sick Days...

Since I'm unemployed (by choice) at present, I don't have to take sick days anymore, but I'm taking one today.  Usually I sit here feeling guilty about all the things I'm not getting done.  The soda cans that need pitched in the recycling bin taunt me.  The hair on the floor from my supposedly "shed free" mongrels screams "sweep me!"  I spend 99% of my life feeling guilty for all that I haven't done in a day.  The positive aspect of guilt is that it motivates me to get something done.  The negative is that it's never enough.  I could win the Nobel Prize and I would still be lamenting about all that I failed to accomplish.  

But today I'm taking a sick day, and those soda cans and dog hairs can just sit there another 24 hours because I feel like crud.  The likely suspect is the extensive list of medications I'm on.  I'm caught in a horrible cycle of taking meds to treat the side effects of meds.  Only in America!  I've discussed my meds on here many times so I won't delve too deep into it, but the basic story is that I'm on a new mood stabilizer which knocks me out, and I'm on an anti-anxiety med for restless leg syndrome that also knocks me out, and when those two meds are used in conjunction with the meds I take purposely to knock me out at night, well, I end up walking around like a zombie, or worse, not walking around and needing an excessive and ridiculous amount of sleep.  

Let's take yesterday, for instance.  I took said meds around 10 pm Tuesday night, was out by 11pm and slept like a baby until my alarm went off at 7 am yesterday am.  I had an early appointment with my internist in the am and then a follow up with my plastic surgeon in the afternoon.  The am appointment went so - so.  I am facing the possibility of iron transfusions for anemia and other iron issues, but my thyroid is doing well.  Yay! My follow-up with the surgeon went fab! I have healed super well and am now cleared to exercise, do housework and even bowl (yes, I asked!).  Now I just have this special little silicone tape to cover my scars and help them heal.  And yes, there are a LOT of scars.  I had to laugh that despite the fact that I had breast REDUCTION I still have silicone on my chest :D  Hey, I find humor where I can.  Even without it, he thinks my scars will heal nicely.  I don't have to see him for six weeks, which is super nice, because as much as I LOVE Boulder, it's getting  a little old to drive down there so often with the price of gas, not to mention I need naps like a 90 year old.  And even the Cheesecake Factory goodness didn't restore me to good health.  Now THAT is scary.

Anyways, my original point was that I'm getting a good 8 hours of sleep, but still exhausted.  I am SO thankful that Kyle had arranged to come with me yesterday.  I seriously do not know how I would have driven without him.  I fell asleep singing to the radio on the way to Loveland.  I slept from Loveland to Boulder.  I slept from Boulder to Cheyenne.  I then went to bed and slept, with the intention of being up in two hours to prep for running support group.  But I slept three and then at the last minute asked a friend to facilitate, fell BACK to sleep and didn't get up until 11 this morning.  For me, that is ABSURD.  Generally I function on no to little sleep, so this is all a very odd experience.  In the midst of all that I forgot to take my regularly meds that I take in the day, and so I'm dealing with consequences of THAT today. 


So I'm taking a sick day.  I know the recycling bins need put in the big bin.  I know the trash cans need taken out.  I know the floors need vacuumed (because it's been a month).  I know laundry needs to be done and the dishes and who knows what else, but it may not get done today.  And really, who cares?  (I do!) I'm taking the Scarlet O'Hara approach and saying I won't worry about it until tomorrow.  But I know I really will.  And although I try to set aside Fridays for personal writing time and reading about writing, I will feel pressure to do all the work tomorrow that I neglected today.  In the end it will all work out fine, but I'm really frustrated by the exhaustion.  I'm sure an iron deficiency isn't helping matters.  I'll find out more about that when my doc calls this afternoon with the blood work results.  Until then, I'm going to enjoy these two little puppies on my lap.